What Other People’s Weddings Taught me About my Own
I’m sure we’ve all been to a couple of weddings and I have been attending them since I was a baby and had to be taken out for a walk at an extended family member’s wedding so I didn’t get arsey. I have been to family weddings, friends weddings, been bridesmaid 3 times before my own wedding and the more frequently I went to them the more I got a vibe of how I’d want my own to go.
The most expensive aren’t the most fun: I cannot repeat this louder but the most expensive weddings I have been to are not always the most fun to attend as a guest and I tried to keep this in mind when we were planning ours. Throwing a huge lump sum of money at a day doesn’t equate to a good time and often, it can actually get a bit overboard and overwhelming for everyone there anyway. Cheap and cheerful my friends - and plenty of booze and good music.
Vows in front of everyone wasn’t for me: I’ve walked as a bridesmaid in front of some of the most nervous brides I’ve ever seen. I have watched wedding party rehearsals that put the fear of god into everyone. I have practiced walks and timed to music. I have heard babies cry through ceremonies, listened to grooms mess up their words and even watched vows performed as a rap battle (that one was amazing). But what it made me sure of was standing up in front of everyone was not what either of us wanted so we sacked it off altogether.
An expensive dress was just the same as a cheap one: I know how much brides have spent on their dresses. I know which ones bought it from China on Ebay. I know which ones spent a couple of hundred at an outlet store. I know which bought sample sales. And I know which spent half my entire wedding budget on theirs. And ya know what, every bride looks incred on the day simply because they are the bride and they feel fab in whatever dress they bought and nobody knows who spent more than the other.
DJs aren’t essential: The last couple of weddings I went to affirmed for me that we could do our own playlist and avoid having to fork out for entertainment. I’ve been told by multiple friends and family the one thing they wished they hadn’t bothered with was the DJ, especially those who’s wedding package came with an in house DJ and they felt obligated to go for it. Shout out to all the good DJs who are worth their dollah.
The more unusual the better: Undoubtedly the best weddings I have been to as a guest have been the more unusual ones and that is why I was so confident our non traditional one would work out in the end. There is something comforting about a traditional wedding where you know the score and how the day will go but it’s the ones with a bit of summin summin that are talked about for the next ten years in your friendship group.
A good photographer is everything: A good photographer is worth their weight in gold and one of the areas I would advise investing it on the day. No matter how fab your wedding is, you want to capture it and have those memories in a picture for the duration of your marriage and a good photographer is everything. Our photographer Simon photographed my cousins wedding in 2017 and my brother in laws last year and everyone I spoke to waxed lyrical about how comfortable he made them feel, how professional he was, how FUN he was (so important) and I knew as a guest I thought he was fab so we didn’t even consider looking anywhere else and we were not disappointed.
Half the stuff involved isn’t necessary: As a guest you’re not interested in what car the bride turns up in or what shoes the groomsmen have on soz. What you’re concerned about is the price of drinks, how banging the food is and if you can have a good dance (and if there’s enough seating for you to collapse into at midnight). Half of the things you think a good wedding should have are not necessary but it’s the little extra additions like a really unusual wedding favour or a surprise flashdance that are the things people will be talking about for years to come.